I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
