Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
