I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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