Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
