All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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