Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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