Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
