My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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