Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
