dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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