I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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