i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
