You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
