4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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