Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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