She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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