there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
