He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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