I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
