Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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