Sry I called you an 8
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
MIDGETS
????
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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