so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
