maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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