She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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