you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
