so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
