I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
