Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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