Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
