I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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