How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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