shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
