After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
