love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
