Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
