Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
