If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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