he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
