Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
