Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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