I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
please come you make the beer taste better
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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