um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
