opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
