Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
