glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
