just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
