i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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