I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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