Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
