is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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