No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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