That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
