I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
