is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
