My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
