I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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