he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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