We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
