dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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