gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just had sex on a roof
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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