I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
