Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
