Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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